Five point five - What do we do in MBBS?

I’ve always felt the world of doctors has always been surrounded by this thick dense cloud of ignorance. Heck I didn’t even know about it until well how I can I put this nicely… until I was ‘talked’ into it. Although my mom never felt I was engineering material and frankly speaking so did I.

For those who know nothing about this course let me give you an intro into the making of another edition of the already widely circulated lot in the world today.

MBBS as our teachers say is not really for smart people. Anyone can do it, it just requires common sense. But this is really a debatable topic as it doesn’t seem to be the viewpoint when you arrive for the clinical postings, where you shall be expected to have read the entire book on how to examine a patient from head to toe. And oh yes, it’s not just the outside but the working of the inner organs too.

Based on my experience, clinics is definitely not a fun place to be in unless you are those types who love to examine a patient who just happens to have the ‘classical’ findings of a textbook case. Yes, I did hang around those types for two reasons… 1. They knew Kannada which I have faithfully kept aside as a language I cannot learn, though I do understand what they are saying.. kinda…. And 2. being with the smart ones ensures your also part of the smart crew and be left early since they will be answering most of the questions while you hover like a shadow in the background.

Yes it does get kinda irritating, though im not complaining, as the workout of running up and down five sets of stairs, in search of either a doctor to present your case to or juniors who have taken the register with them and the person who has to mark your attendance has very little patience since its close to lunch break, has been helpful in removing unnecessary pounds which have accumulated over the weekend.

Another phenomenon noticed in med colleges are the transformation of the ugly ducking to a beautiful swan, which affects both sexes equally.

This may be due to the fact that some girls do get engaged or married either during their course or during internship. That’s when the frequent visits to VLCC or the straightening of hair or the eureka moment of learning to apply just the right amount of make up so you don’t end up looking like a call girl. For the guys on the other hand, there’s the loss of weight from first year since hostel food sucks or the pretty physiotherapy chick who hasn’t noticed you… yet, along with the change from specs to contacts and the laborious management of both brain, during classes and brawn, at the gym.

With 5.5 years spent in studying the various systems and how to manage the ‘lay man’, we reach the crowning moment when we are pronounced Doctors with our steths wrapped around our necks like a noose at the gallows. Its time for the epidural and the contractions begin.

And out into the world we go, having been delivered out from the womb of our college, crying, kicking and screaming.