The Art of Presentation

There comes a time in a medical student's life when he jumps over the fence from first year into his neighbours garden which over here is second year... duhhh... its also the time when he/she has to cram up for four subjects instead of three... And then there is the introduction to the clinics... ive often noticed how the first years suddenly act all big when they come this side... maybe its the false impression of the innumerable responsibility that they are the saviours without whom the poor patients would rot... but thankfully that feeling doesnt last long... kudos to the medicine staff and also the founders of the damn subject Clinical medicine for the transformation... Fascinating as it is for the variety of diseases it has to offer one often wonders when the madness does stop...

"Comin to the" a line heard soo often dring presentations its kind off surprising the staff doesnt want to wring our necks with the steth or inject us with a lytic cocktail... no its not alcohol for all u "lay" people...its 1 ml contains pethidine 28 mg, promethazine 7 mg, chlorpromazine 7 mg... jus a minute.. feeling of superiority comin thru for knowin that... ok fine... i looked it up.. hope ur happy??? so where were we...

Ahh yes... being in final year means all the juniors look upto u... to make the first move... know all the details about the cases in the wards... know how to examine the patients... make the patients, the snakes that they are after a billion people examine them, dance to the tune of ur flute... yes, we are the demi-gods who rule the wards... the omnipotents...

Since we do stuff in roll no. order... presentations are no different... it prevents the people who happen to get sick when its their turn in order to escape the staff who's not goin to listen to you but instead shoot you with soo many questions you wish you went into a syncopal attack soon...

One fine day it happened to be my turn and with the help of my trusty.. read NERDY friend N I did manage to ring a patient...

Presenting the case of Mr.Muhammed... Aged 18/20/22/28 highly dependant on who asked him... working as a wholesale glass dealer... residing in mangalore... and admitted over here on the 29th of last month... he came with chief complaints of blah blah blah blah blah... enough of the details but jus to give a glimpse of how it all begins... in front of the teacher that is... but this is how it actually began...

Sunday evening sitting in my room.. all alone cos A, my roommate went to Qatar to renew his visa... but thats when duck comes along to chat... he claims to have an amazingly fun life which by the way consists of sleeping, reading an occasional novel, sleeping, playing games on his roommate J's laptop and yes some more sleeping.. sorry duck, but you know its true...

Anyways along comes N who always manages to come at the right time... that is when someone is having a snack in the room or in this case when duck and i are bitching about something/ someone...

N is the typical narrow minded Malayalee... Though I do support his claim that all Mangis are hot looking people... I disagree with his Mangi girls only fall for Mal guys though that seems to be the situation in our college... oh ya..i forgot to mention he's also very studious... yes, i know the word is nerd but me being compassionate n all will spare the sarcasm... Being the MAL WHO IS GREAT/SUPERIOR he also happens to know of this Aortic regurgitation (AR) case which got admitted... which was supposed to be all hush hush to prevent other units from presenting him since we found him first... hmph in ur face A, B and D unit... though its kinda scary how he finds out about this stuff... being a sunday and all...

Monday morning finds us a the nurses station waiting for the nurses to change the sheets of the patients bed... quickly we go through his case sheet making note of the point of him being diagnosed with AR, 2 weeks back... he sees us... we see him... time to go in for the kill... as we head up to him N starts off his questioning and me the examining... with time at the essence we ask him all the usual stuff... auscultate a little.. find out what murmurs he has.. and then retreat back to class thereby announcing our kill... and if humans would piss to mark their territiory.. im pretty sure we would have done that too... Thankfully the other units already had their own cases and were just interested in auscultating him...

Well it took me a week to present my case since our l ward was recently trauma stricken... but i did it to Dr. E.K B... An amazing little man who has more stamina than all mbbs students put together... Its crazy seeing him climbing all the sets of stairs in search for students to teach... And im grateful to him for correcting my mistakes...

Im also sorry about Muhammed... who apparently was told he doesnt have a heart problem and who kept getting pissed as batch after batch kept auscaltating him... i hope he does get well soon with the meds provided to him...

P.S Vics said that I jump from one topic to another and that its not in order... i think ill keep it that way since thats how i am and my life for not exactly being in order... :